Asta-la-Vista BeeBee

Posting my funny scribble regarding a not-so-funny Bee-Attack incident which I suffered in Bangalore more than 2 years ago.
The email chain is self-explanatory...! :-) ...

I think the email chain makes reading it all the more interesting. Hence posting it along with the poem.

Hope you enjoy :-) ...Read this article, starting from the bottom... :-) ...

-----Original Message-----
From: Kulkarni Shailendra
Sent: 03 February 2005 14:28
To: George Molina; Ferris Tamara; Bhavana; Sundar G
Subject: Asta-la-Vista BeeBee

Hi ,
I do not know if the editors are looking for this.
Anyways, Here Goes...

Asta-la-Vista BeeBee

They Came In Droves,

Wave After Wave,

Before Each Strike I almost Heard Them Buzz

Har Har Mahadev !!!

Their Harakiris Were Not in Vain,

B'cos I was Instantly in acute pain...!

My transition from an Innocuous Passerby

To A Perceived Ill-Meaning Allied Spy,

Took Me By Utter Nasty Surprise;

All that I could Hear Now,

With the Mounting Sickening Buzz,

Were My own Pathetic Cries.

Some connection from past-life exhorted,

"Bhaag Arjjun BhaaSSSg",

And then my rattled body Was All

Aag Hee Aag...!

Though I ran possessed,

Shouting Hoarse For Help,

Unheard was my plea,

And I hadn't anything but to flee.

When I did find a safe refuge,

And the situation seemed to sort of diffuse,

T'was time to assess the harm

Done By the Ever-So Virulent Swarm.

My Body did Resemble

Old McDonalds Bee Farm...


"Eeyaa Eeyaa Ouch...

Here A Sting, There A Sting,

EveryWhere Sting Sting..."

The Sting Operation Was

A Complete Success,

And they turned Back to their 'Hivenly' Abode

After their Punishing Excess.

And Just before they turned,

They puffed off their smoking guns

And Then Buzz Triumphantly Aloud,

"Asta-la-Vista Bee-Bee".

--- A Hapless Beektim.

-----Original Message-----
From: George Molina
Sent: Tuesday, February 01, 2005 3:33 PM
To: Kulkarni Shailendra
Subject: RE: Kuch-Bee jokes

Great :-)

-----Original Message-----
From: Kulkarni Shailendra
Sent: 01 February 2005 15:09
To: George Molina
Cc: Sundar G; Ferris Tamara; Bhavana
Subject: RE: Kuch-Bee jokes

Achhaaa...
Okie. Let me try to write a 'bee't. Haven't completed a full written item in 2-3 years...
Let me try.
So Help Me God.
Your's haplessly,
Beektim.
-----Original Message-----
From: George Molina
Sent: Tuesday, February 01, 2005 2:56 PM
To: Kulkarni Shailendra
Cc: Sundar G; Ferris Tamara; Bhavana
Subject: FW: Kuch-Bee jokes

Hi Shail,
Do let us know the actual 'sad' story behind this compilation in your own words, so that we can give a fair picture of the stung victim - You :-).
Where did this happen, how, etc.? is what the editors are looking for ....
Deadline is 7th Feb, failing which we will give our own interpretation :-)
We are planning to have a cariacature of 'Shail being followed by a swarm of bees" made. So, be prepared for another honey bee attack after mid-feb :-)
And Thanks Sundar - we are publishing this in our newsletter. Hope that's ok.
Molina
-----Original Message-----
From: Ferris Tamara
Sent: Tuesday, February 01, 2005 11:29 AM
To: George Molina
Subject: FW: Kuch-Bee jokes

-----Original Message-----
From: Kulkarni Shailendra
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 2:04 PM
To: Sundar G; Basu Amarnath; Chaya M; Ferris Tamara; Shamanna Nagaraj; Bhavana; George Molina; Purnima; Sejekan Megha
Subject: RE: Kuch-Bee jokes

...well, what to say...I'm absolutely stung...!

-----Original Message-----
From: Sundar G
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 1:59 PM
To: Basu Amarnath; Chaya M; Ferris Tamara; Shamanna Nagaraj; Bhavana; George Molina; Purnima; Sejekan Megha
Cc: Kulkarni Shailendra
Subject: Kuch-Bee jokes

1. What is Shailendra Kulkarni's favourite classical music piece?
Flight of the Bumble bee.
2. What is his favourite PC?
IBM Busybee
3. Which is his favourite Hindi song?
Ka-bee ka-bee
4. Which is his favourite Hindi movie?
Bees saal baad
5. If he remakes it what will he call it?
15-Bees saal baad
6. If he goes to a Chennai dhaba what will he call the waiter?
Tham-bee
7. Which is his favourite sport?
Rug-bee
8. Which is his favourite comic?
Rip Kir-bee
9. If he meets a stranger what will he call him/her?
Ajna-bee
10. If he were Sherlock Holmes, where would he live?
221-Bee Baker's Street
11. If he were the Prince of Denmark, what would he say?
To bee or not to bee
12. What did the Malayalee say he looked like after he was stung?
Grum-bee
13. What would Rajinikant say about him?
Jujju-bee
14. Where does he get electricity in his house from?
K.E.Bee
15. Who does he send new CHARMs to?
C.C.Bee
16. What will he say when he reads this?
"Kuch-bee"
Yeah I know its cruel on him to pick on him when he is hurt... phir-bee ...

I have taken the liberty of including the last part of the email chain, which lists the wonderfully creative 'Kuch-Bee' jokes authored by Sundar G, or 'Bull' as we affectionately call him.
Both, My Poem 'Asta-La-Vista Bee-Bee' as well as Sundar's 'Kuch-Bee Jokes' had been published earlier on my then project's newsletter.

Comments

Ravish said…
awesome...(the word is not enough...phir bee..;))
July 19, 2007 at 6:19 AM
Anonymous said…
Thanks Ravish...Am glad you liked it...
July 26, 2007 at 3:24 PM
ishmi said…
I remember all of these people...and I remember your stung poem in the 'Frontier' too! :)
August 6, 2007 at 8:55 AM
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