Asta-la-Vista BeeBee

Posting my funny scribble regarding a not-so-funny Bee-Attack incident which I suffered in Bangalore more than 2 years ago.
The email chain is self-explanatory...! :-) ...

I think the email chain makes reading it all the more interesting. Hence posting it along with the poem.

Hope you enjoy :-) ...Read this article, starting from the bottom... :-) ...

-----Original Message-----
From: Kulkarni Shailendra
Sent: 03 February 2005 14:28
To: George Molina; Ferris Tamara; Bhavana; Sundar G
Subject: Asta-la-Vista BeeBee

Hi ,
I do not know if the editors are looking for this.
Anyways, Here Goes...

Asta-la-Vista BeeBee

They Came In Droves,

Wave After Wave,

Before Each Strike I almost Heard Them Buzz

Har Har Mahadev !!!

Their Harakiris Were Not in Vain,

B'cos I was Instantly in acute pain...!

My transition from an Innocuous Passerby

To A Perceived Ill-Meaning Allied Spy,

Took Me By Utter Nasty Surprise;

All that I could Hear Now,

With the Mounting Sickening Buzz,

Were My own Pathetic Cries.

Some connection from past-life exhorted,

"Bhaag Arjjun BhaaSSSg",

And then my rattled body Was All

Aag Hee Aag...!

Though I ran possessed,

Shouting Hoarse For Help,

Unheard was my plea,

And I hadn't anything but to flee.

When I did find a safe refuge,

And the situation seemed to sort of diffuse,

T'was time to assess the harm

Done By the Ever-So Virulent Swarm.

My Body did Resemble

Old McDonalds Bee Farm...


"Eeyaa Eeyaa Ouch...

Here A Sting, There A Sting,

EveryWhere Sting Sting..."

The Sting Operation Was

A Complete Success,

And they turned Back to their 'Hivenly' Abode

After their Punishing Excess.

And Just before they turned,

They puffed off their smoking guns

And Then Buzz Triumphantly Aloud,

"Asta-la-Vista Bee-Bee".

--- A Hapless Beektim.

-----Original Message-----
From: George Molina
Sent: Tuesday, February 01, 2005 3:33 PM
To: Kulkarni Shailendra
Subject: RE: Kuch-Bee jokes

Great :-)

-----Original Message-----
From: Kulkarni Shailendra
Sent: 01 February 2005 15:09
To: George Molina
Cc: Sundar G; Ferris Tamara; Bhavana
Subject: RE: Kuch-Bee jokes

Achhaaa...
Okie. Let me try to write a 'bee't. Haven't completed a full written item in 2-3 years...
Let me try.
So Help Me God.
Your's haplessly,
Beektim.
-----Original Message-----
From: George Molina
Sent: Tuesday, February 01, 2005 2:56 PM
To: Kulkarni Shailendra
Cc: Sundar G; Ferris Tamara; Bhavana
Subject: FW: Kuch-Bee jokes

Hi Shail,
Do let us know the actual 'sad' story behind this compilation in your own words, so that we can give a fair picture of the stung victim - You :-).
Where did this happen, how, etc.? is what the editors are looking for ....
Deadline is 7th Feb, failing which we will give our own interpretation :-)
We are planning to have a cariacature of 'Shail being followed by a swarm of bees" made. So, be prepared for another honey bee attack after mid-feb :-)
And Thanks Sundar - we are publishing this in our newsletter. Hope that's ok.
Molina
-----Original Message-----
From: Ferris Tamara
Sent: Tuesday, February 01, 2005 11:29 AM
To: George Molina
Subject: FW: Kuch-Bee jokes

-----Original Message-----
From: Kulkarni Shailendra
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 2:04 PM
To: Sundar G; Basu Amarnath; Chaya M; Ferris Tamara; Shamanna Nagaraj; Bhavana; George Molina; Purnima; Sejekan Megha
Subject: RE: Kuch-Bee jokes

...well, what to say...I'm absolutely stung...!

-----Original Message-----
From: Sundar G
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 1:59 PM
To: Basu Amarnath; Chaya M; Ferris Tamara; Shamanna Nagaraj; Bhavana; George Molina; Purnima; Sejekan Megha
Cc: Kulkarni Shailendra
Subject: Kuch-Bee jokes

1. What is Shailendra Kulkarni's favourite classical music piece?
Flight of the Bumble bee.
2. What is his favourite PC?
IBM Busybee
3. Which is his favourite Hindi song?
Ka-bee ka-bee
4. Which is his favourite Hindi movie?
Bees saal baad
5. If he remakes it what will he call it?
15-Bees saal baad
6. If he goes to a Chennai dhaba what will he call the waiter?
Tham-bee
7. Which is his favourite sport?
Rug-bee
8. Which is his favourite comic?
Rip Kir-bee
9. If he meets a stranger what will he call him/her?
Ajna-bee
10. If he were Sherlock Holmes, where would he live?
221-Bee Baker's Street
11. If he were the Prince of Denmark, what would he say?
To bee or not to bee
12. What did the Malayalee say he looked like after he was stung?
Grum-bee
13. What would Rajinikant say about him?
Jujju-bee
14. Where does he get electricity in his house from?
K.E.Bee
15. Who does he send new CHARMs to?
C.C.Bee
16. What will he say when he reads this?
"Kuch-bee"
Yeah I know its cruel on him to pick on him when he is hurt... phir-bee ...

I have taken the liberty of including the last part of the email chain, which lists the wonderfully creative 'Kuch-Bee' jokes authored by Sundar G, or 'Bull' as we affectionately call him.
Both, My Poem 'Asta-La-Vista Bee-Bee' as well as Sundar's 'Kuch-Bee Jokes' had been published earlier on my then project's newsletter.

Comments

Ravish said…
awesome...(the word is not enough...phir bee..;))
July 19, 2007 at 6:19 AM
Anonymous said…
Thanks Ravish...Am glad you liked it...
July 26, 2007 at 3:24 PM
ishmi said…
I remember all of these people...and I remember your stung poem in the 'Frontier' too! :)
August 6, 2007 at 8:55 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Olivera Crossing

At this moment of your life, you find yourself in a place, where you might or might not have visualised yourself in, some seasons ago. May be you planned to get here, may be you didn't. May be you wanted to be here, may be you didn't.. May be you do not like being here, or may be you do...! One year ago I came to this place called Concord. My first impression while in the taxi from the San Francisco Airport, was that I might not be too comfortable with this area. God knows why I felt it that way then. Could be because I was more comfortable with the country-look of Malvern. I sure was intimidated at first. But then I knew I had people here whom I knew well from my past. So, I felt comforted. The decision was taken to be here, for various reasons. I wanted this stopover in life to be reached. So this crossing is being made. We live at an apartment complex. The apartments are on a drive, which is covered by a canopy of the plentiful trees. The Drive makes for a nice walk. For the...
Read more

‘Soul’ Kadhi

Just an innocuous pickup at the Mumbai airport could end up costing you over Rs.300 even before you sit in your pickup vehicle. I guess I was just a minute late in locating the mini-van that had come to pick me up at the Santacruz Airport in Mumbai. The Airport was the first stop on starting from Dadar for Amit, Ranjeet-Preeti, and Nishant on the way to Dapoli. Our destination, Harne-Murud was around 270 km southwards from Dadar (Mumbai – erstwhile Bombay) , and around 380kms northwards from Goa. Very much on the coast. And this region in general, is silently proud of its numerous beautiful beaches. Much like the less flamboyant but nevertheless very beautiful country girls. The Konkan region is the beautiful south-western coastline of the state of Maharashtra in India. This verdant region, with bountiful coconut and betel-nut plantations had yet escaped my travel till date. Guess it had to wait for the first decade of the new millennium to turn over, for me to be able to leave my foo...
Read more

Incorrigibly Happy, and Perennially so...

They were more of them. But only three since I became aware of, and understood my emotional self. So, I write about the three only. But I surely do not intend to be unfair to the 4 others, three of them whom I never got to know. The three I was fortunate to have the company of, for significant years of my life were Aaji, BaalMama and Vishnumama. Aaji, my paternal Grandmother, and Baalmama and Vishnumama were her brothers. What is so different about them? Why do I write about them? They were ordinary persons, like the most of us. What was extraordinary about them,however, was that they remained incorrigibly happy throughout their lives. They never read Dale Carnegie, nor Deepak Chopra. I do not think the decision to remain happy was a conscious one. It was probably a state of mind they were born with. A point well mentioned is the sibling bonding between them. It is perhaps the joyful and contented attitude which forged this. And the bond remained strong throughout their lifetimes. ...
Read more